There are some traits that, when combined in a wife, can ruin her life and turn her into a creature rejected by even the people closest to her, her husband.
Therefore, my dear, you must try to avoid these reprehensible traits, for they contain a deadly poison… a poison that kills your husband’s future with you… a poison that transforms the marital home from bliss into hell… a poison that freezes feelings and dries up the sources of love… until the house of happiness collapses and a house of constant quarrels and estrangement is built on its ruins.
1- Lying: This is one of the most common traits found in a woman that can make her husband turn away from her, because it destroys the bridge of trust between them and encourages the flames of doubt to ignite and destroy the marital home.
2- Selfishness: The wife is arrogant, selfish, and loves only herself, failing to give or dissolve into a relationship whose foundation is giving, which is the marital relationship.
3- The stupid or ignorant woman: She has nothing to say and no opinion on what is said. Her talk is trivial, and her ignorance is boundless. This woman, despite herself, denies herself feminine qualities and makes men flee.
4- The chatterbox: The wife who never tires of talking and talks (about nothing and to the point of being full) until her husband grows weary of her chatter, and living with her in the long run becomes unbearable.
5- The equal: This is the woman’s insistence on being equal with her husband. She is always keen to be the decision-maker and the one in control of everything, just like him. She adheres to the rules of blind equality between men and women, even chasing the struggle she believes she must ultimately prevail.
7- Loss of feelings of sanctity: She lacks the principle of the sanctity of married life, her husband, and obedience to him…the sanctity of love, understanding, and motherhood. She finds herself trivial and disrespectful of anything of importance.
8- Masculine: The masculine wife who doesn’t strive to show her femininity in front of her husband, but rather deliberately displays what makes her feel stronger.
9- Indifference: She relegates her husband to the margins of her life, and she may even elevate him to third or fourth place in her life.
10- Nagging: She is the wife who is constantly nagging, unable to smile without being forced, and who never approaches joy or happiness, even occupying the top spot in her skill of “stubbornness” and eagerness to quarrel over the most trivial reasons.
11- Neglect: A wife’s neglect of herself and her appearance within the home is one of the most common traits that drives a husband to flee from her.
. She transforms into a skilled cook, an energetic worker, and an unparalleled nanny, filling her home with energy. However, she neglects her appearance and femininity, believing herself to be a martyr who commits suicide for others, forgetting that her husband has rights recognized by our great Prophet, who said, “If he looks at her, she pleases him.”
We do not criticize her for her diligence in serving her home and children, but balance is necessary in preparing meals. She is in dire need of a sense of her femininity and radiance, which captivates her husband’s gaze and protects him from the pre-Islamic ostentation that has filled Muslim streets.
It is sufficient to know that studies have proven that 8% of divorce cases in the Arab world are caused by the wife’s neglect of her appearance and femininity, and that the same reason accounts for 12% of second marriages. 12. At the same time, she may turn into the opposite: she becomes overly concerned with her appearance and neglects her home and children, thereby enjoying carelessness, superficiality, exaggeration, and a preoccupation with appearance that reveals a shallow essence.
13. The Hostile Woman: She becomes psychologically unbalanced, her emotions fluctuate, and her self-confidence fluctuates. She rushes into foolishness and arguments to assert herself and defend herself against imaginary attacks. Thus, her life is characterized by violence, hostility, suspicion, and mistrust.
14. Another trait of failure: The wife who backbites her husband and talks about his faults or mistakes in front of her friends and family.
15. The woman who is too strong for her husband: She tries to impose her will on him, not giving his opinion or words any weight.
16. Exhausting the husband with unbearable material demands and indulging in luxuries are behaviors that lead to a husband’s alienation from his wife, especially when financial resources are limited.
Contentment and realism must prevail in our homes. Many families have fallen apart due to dissatisfaction and a longing for what others enjoy. It is sufficient to know that more than 20% of divorces that occurred in the Arab world in the past three years were due to family members’ dissatisfaction with their current circumstances and financial constraints.
17. Some wives also neglect the importance of affection and expressing feelings of love for their husbands, which leaves many husbands feeling an emotional void that some try to create in others. Therefore, the wife must be careful from time to time to express her feelings toward her husband and exchange words of love.
18. The wife’s direct or indirect refusal to have sex with her husband.
It is considered one of the behaviors that are fatal to married life. Some wives forget the warning of our great Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) to the women of his nation against this crime committed by some of them. He warned them of the angels’ curses against them. Indeed, the noble hadiths of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) urged them to quickly comply with this command, even if she were in the oven.
The Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
“If a man calls his wife to his bed and she does not come, and he spends the night angry with her, the angels will curse her until morning.”
Narrator: Abu Hurairah. Source: Sahih Muslim. Volume or Page: 1439. Ruling of the hadith scholar: Sahih.
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
“If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone other than Allah, I would command a woman to prostrate to her husband. By the One in Whose Hand is Muhammad’s soul, a woman cannot fulfill her duty to her Lord until she fulfills her duty to her husband.” All of it, even if he asked her for herself while she was on a camel, she would not refuse him.
Narrator: Abdullah ibn Abi Awfa. Narrator: Al-Albani. Source: Sahih al-Jami’. Volume or Page: 5295. Ruling of the narrator: Hasan.
Meaning: “Even if he asked her for herself while she was on a camel, she would not refuse him.”
The intended meaning is to exaggerate the encouragement of a woman to allow her husband to have intercourse with her if he asked her for intercourse, and not to refuse him, even if she was in her postpartum period and sat on a camel’s saddle for childbirth.
A camel’s saddle is a small saddle about the size of a hump, and it is to a camel what a horse’s saddle is to do. This is because when a woman was in her postpartum period, she would sit on a camel’s saddle to make her childbirth easier.